Category Archives: My Life

Fat and Salt

FatFaeriesLast week was my first day in cadaver lab.  It was by far the coolest experience I’ve had thus far in medical school.  How very grateful I am for those kind people who donated their bodies to the University Medical school so we could practice and learn skills and techniques to help others in the future.

That said, several of the cadavers, including ours, possessed an incredible amount of adipose tissue (read:  fat).  It is the grossest tissue there is.  It’s yellow, buttery, and smelly.  It seriously looked like a bit vat of butter right underneath the skin on one cadaver.    Fat is vital for survival in small quantities, yet most americans now carry around more than they need.  And to their detriment.  Hence the topic of this blahrg.

Lately, I’ve been trying to get healthy, and so should you.  That means exercise, (at least thirty minutes of moderate activity a day), eating less salt (about a teaspoon or less a day), losing weight (having a BMI around 23), eating plenty of vegetables and fruit, among others.  Now, these are simple changes, but sometimes hard to implement.  Along with that, there are also about a trillion people offering advice as fact about what diet to use or what new fad will change everything.  Most of it is bullshit.  Let me say just a couple things:  First, weight loss happens by changing your caloric intake.  It is extremely hard to lose weight by exercise alone.  Someone who walks briskly for an hour, depending on his or her weight, may only burn a couple hundred calories.  That’s an Oreo cookie.  Exercise is vital, but should really be for cardiovascular exercise, and not the sole tool of weight loss.

Second, we gotta cut down on salt.  Cutting down salt, lowering blood pressure through exercise and healthy eating and possibly medication, refraining from or stopping smoking, and losing weight, all dramatically reduce the risk for stroke.  Dramatically.  Smokers can be back to baseline within about five years, and other health benefits start almost immediately.  Removing salt from the diet prevents cardiovascular problems that ultimately end in stroke or heart attack.  And losing weight does it all.

Let’s be healthier guys.  For all our sakes.  Let’s quit the bad habits and increase the good.  We can lose weight gradually, but the other crap let’s fix today.

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A taste of things to come…

PhilosophyI have returned to the blogosphere with a great many things to discuss, debate, and ridicule.  I hope you will join me each week to talk about current political sideshows and offer your opinions on symphonies, books, and movies.  I am even looking forward to writing a bit of prose about different important stories from my life and the meanings I have given to them.  I hope to increase the quality of my writing while still maintaining the immediacy of sharing daily ideas and insights, and look forward to your criticism.  See you soon…

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America, America

clipart_flagd_21Music blares from the truck radio, falling out of the driver’s seat and into the cool night.  Between the army blankets and sagging lawn chairs we sit in a strip mall parking lot, looking up at the pale night sky; a background beyond the city lights.  Off in the distance rockets burst, flares explode, and sparks shower and echo out of the dark blue.  The colors are sharp and titillating dancing before us.  Ghosts from the past repeat hallowed words from our History:  President Kennedy:  “We choose these things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”  President Roosevelt:  “Yesterday, December 7th, 1941, a date which will live in infamy.”  Mr. Armstrong:  “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”  A BBC Broadcaster:  “Today, two planes descended on New York and crashed into the World Trade Center.”  President Jefferson:  “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.”  President Kennedy:  “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”  Mr. Kronkite:  “Today, the United States President John F. Kennedy was shot.”  Dad leans toward me and whispers into my ear, “I remember that day, where I was, what I was doing, as if it were yesterday.”  I look at him.  I just look into his eyes.  

The sky reverbrates, and so do our hearts.   No lives have ever gone before that have been given so much.  No price so high has ever been paid to secure their bounties.  We continue listening and watching the vibrant display.  Red streaks downward like bloody stripes.  White sparkles outward like new constellations born into the sky.  Blue showers erupt upwards, like a roaring, majestic waterfall.  Up in the sky we see the symbol of our freedom, justice and liberty.  It proudly waves down upon us.

We stayed until the very end.  Every second we relished, like we should relish every second we are free.  By God or by man, America is nothing less than a miracle.  


abraham-lincoln-2Abraham Lincoln:  “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”  -The Gettysburg Address

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Annoying things

Occasionally, I will write about annoying things. The last entry on irksomeness was a year ago, so don’t take this as overtly negative. Here we go!


That’s right. Emo fashion is ridiculous. Let me especially say to all men that wear tapered pants: you are ridiculously gay and look silly. When you grow your hair long and let it fall in front of your face, wear belts with metal points and low ride your several sizes small pants, and then they taper down to your ankles, you just. Wow. Look wretched. Ghastly. Not only feminine, but circus show feminine.

Let me continue by saying that men’s fashion in general has begun to de-evolve our masculinity. I flipped through the most recent issue of Details and all I see are hermaphrodite men who blatantly portray their immasculation through bony figures and tight, small clothing. We are beginning to look like the French, and that is just not acceptable.

Notable emo fags include: Zac Efron and Toby Maguire

Narcissism headlining as networking

Let’s face it. 90% of the world has written “25 random facts” about themselves. Why do we read everyone elses’ “25 random facts” in the first place? Because Facebook tricks us by saying we’re “mentioned” in it somewhere. Here’s a tip: You’re not mentioned anywhere in the “25 random facts” about someone else. But it’s okay, because you can write “25 random facts” about you and every one of your friends will somehow be tagged in it as well. In the end, everyone gets to write about themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I play fully into the trap as well. I like coming up with the most clever status headline too. I enjoy putting up the most endearing and self-aggrandizing profile photos, all to ooh and ahh my friends into paying attention to my profile. I get it, and I do it too. But I am formally recognizing here that Facebook is not about networking, but about displaying our pseudo individuality for our own narcissistic purposes. Maybe someday a study will be done that will tell us it is actually good for us to fuss an hour or three a day on our profiles.

People that play football next to me while I’m reading on a blanket at the park when I was there first and not only do they suck but they commentate on their horrible abilities as athletes

Let’s face it: you’re not TO. You’re not Jerry Rice. You won’t catch or throw very well as a mid-twenties slightly overweight dude who hasn’t played football since you were on JV. I don’t claim any special athletic prowess either. But when there are thirty acres of grass just waiting for you to fumble around on, why do you claim that small tract of field next to my army blanket, and then yell back and forth “my bad!” and “Oh, that was horrible!” and “Wow it’s been awhile.” and “Heads up!” Especially heads up. You’re fing playing catch. You don’t need to yell heads up to the guy you’re throwing to.

University Parking

If ever I wished upon a star for a legal business entity to roast slowly in hell, it would be University Parking and every one of their owners and employees. Go to hell, bitches.

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GI Jonesy Returns…

If you didn’t catch the Black Cat Forest, you should look it up in me index. Cheers mate.

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Merry Christmas!

Today I woke up, and a blurry white confetti swirled around my frosty window. It was Christmas morning (12pm don’t judge) and what a fantastic time. A hearty laugh from Dad. A flash from Mom’s camera. Duncan belly-up on the rug waiting for a tummy rub. And I, sitting by the Christmas tree, decorated with home-made and colorful ornaments, each imbued with its own special memory. The fire burned downstairs in the rustic stove and warmth filled our home. It wasn’t all the fire’s doing, I knew.

Then, a drill gun for dad. An ornate red shirt for mom. A forest brown Echo Hoodie for me (yeeah).

Then there were bows and wrapping paper all over the floor, the tell-tale sign of the wonderful gifts exchanged. I hug Mom and Dad and scratch Duncan’s ears, and know this is a special time. Someday the sweaters are worn and the books eventually go on the shelf, but the time together somehow lasts. If not in crystallized memory, then in a nostalgic wave that rises within and breaks on the surface with a smile. Some distant day, I know, when I need it most. A day when there is no fire, and its cold to the touch, when a little warmth could do a body good. I store today away for that occasion, a small paper gift with a bow set under the tree. An orange sitting at the bottom of the stocking, waiting to be unpeeled and shared.

Today, I relish it. No naps today. Every second counts. Don’t waste it, I tell myself. An extra hug here, a peck on the cheek there. Give that love away. It will be worth it.

Merry Christmas.

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Me and Jessica

I truly believe that dreams come true.

That said, last night I dreamt that Jessica Alba and I made out in her Malibu mansion. Yes, crazy, yet believable, and inevitable.
Here’s the scoop before you see it in People.

I had just sat down on this beautiful beige couch inside Jessica Alba’s parlor. There was a black metal staircase to my left, a water-fountain to my right, and huge pane windows on all sides of the room. The stairway led to a partial balcony above us, and in the background I could hear a few of my friends chatting away. I was talking with Jessica. She wasn’t prego, and was definitely not married but only engaged. I distinctly knew she was spoken for, so I wasn’t putting on any of my moves (had I done so, Jessica wouldn’t have been able to resist for as long as she did. Obviously). We continued engaging in witty banter much like that found in her stellar films i.e. The Eye, Good Luck Chuck, Deep Blue Sea, etc. I noticed she kept looking at me, how do you say, longingly? Hungrily? I paid this no attention, other than the brief synapse of acknowledgement in my cerebrum, and continued explaining some intricate theory she was so obviously interested in. This continued for awhile, until finally, when I turned again to face her from glancing behind me, her gaze fell to my deliciously vanilla lips (plug for Melaleuca lip balm. You’re welcome, Frank). And that’s when she lunged at me. Our lips engaged eachother, like they were yin and yang. I ran my hand through her auburn hair, and closed my eyes wondering if this was a dream. When I realized it was, it didn’t matter that she was engaged, since there would be no regrets when I woke up. Plus, in a dream, there is no moral high ground. And who says no to a kiss from Jessica Alba?

We moved things to the bathroom (it was really a nice, expensive and clean bathroom) and continued to partake of the sweet carnal nectar. She said that since she saw me, she couldn’t keep from wanting me. I said that it was obvious what her feelings were. The kissing that ensued was much like that found in the scene of Wanted where Angelina kisses James Mcavoy in slo mo with rocking music going on in the background. Well played Ben. Well played.

Then I woke up. Most times, if Im in a good dream, I’ll try to go back to sleep, but in this case our sewage system was on the frits and the plumber had just arrived. So I couldn’t return to my castle in a cloud.

No matter, it’s a prophetic dream, I just know it.

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