Annoying things

Occasionally, I will write about annoying things. The last entry on irksomeness was a year ago, so don’t take this as overtly negative. Here we go!

Emo

That’s right. Emo fashion is ridiculous. Let me especially say to all men that wear tapered pants: you are ridiculously gay and look silly. When you grow your hair long and let it fall in front of your face, wear belts with metal points and low ride your several sizes small pants, and then they taper down to your ankles, you just. Wow. Look wretched. Ghastly. Not only feminine, but circus show feminine.

Let me continue by saying that men’s fashion in general has begun to de-evolve our masculinity. I flipped through the most recent issue of Details and all I see are hermaphrodite men who blatantly portray their immasculation through bony figures and tight, small clothing. We are beginning to look like the French, and that is just not acceptable.

Notable emo fags include: Zac Efron and Toby Maguire

Narcissism headlining as networking

Let’s face it. 90% of the world has written “25 random facts” about themselves. Why do we read everyone elses’ “25 random facts” in the first place? Because Facebook tricks us by saying we’re “mentioned” in it somewhere. Here’s a tip: You’re not mentioned anywhere in the “25 random facts” about someone else. But it’s okay, because you can write “25 random facts” about you and every one of your friends will somehow be tagged in it as well. In the end, everyone gets to write about themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I play fully into the trap as well. I like coming up with the most clever status headline too. I enjoy putting up the most endearing and self-aggrandizing profile photos, all to ooh and ahh my friends into paying attention to my profile. I get it, and I do it too. But I am formally recognizing here that Facebook is not about networking, but about displaying our pseudo individuality for our own narcissistic purposes. Maybe someday a study will be done that will tell us it is actually good for us to fuss an hour or three a day on our profiles.

People that play football next to me while I’m reading on a blanket at the park when I was there first and not only do they suck but they commentate on their horrible abilities as athletes

Let’s face it: you’re not TO. You’re not Jerry Rice. You won’t catch or throw very well as a mid-twenties slightly overweight dude who hasn’t played football since you were on JV. I don’t claim any special athletic prowess either. But when there are thirty acres of grass just waiting for you to fumble around on, why do you claim that small tract of field next to my army blanket, and then yell back and forth “my bad!” and “Oh, that was horrible!” and “Wow it’s been awhile.” and “Heads up!” Especially heads up. You’re fing playing catch. You don’t need to yell heads up to the guy you’re throwing to.

University Parking

If ever I wished upon a star for a legal business entity to roast slowly in hell, it would be University Parking and every one of their owners and employees. Go to hell, bitches.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 thoughts on “Annoying things

  1. Usiku says:

    I like the quote in your blog title, “A man cannot truly believe what at some time he has not questioned.” Frederick H. Hedge. Questioning what we believe from time to time as we gain more experiences and learn more is essential.I agree, there is something to be said about many fashion choices for men, the follow along culture of social networking and the respect for each other’s space even in public places.

  2. D says:

    Zac Efron is so gay. Don’t worry Ben, I love when people complain. Keep it coming. Amen on the bit about University Parking. Roast slowly.

  3. Kate says:

    Glad you’re back to the blog.I agree with all of those things. Especially the slow decline of masculinity. If I wanted to date a girl, I would, well, date a girl- not a dude who dresses like one.I’m so happy I live in Orem where there is an abundance of parking where no parking Nazi will be lurking in the bushes just waiting for me to go into a complex I don’t live in so they can boot my car. There’s one good thing about O-town…

  4. John says:

    That was really funny Ben. When are we going to see some pics of you on here? You don’t have to its just a request. Love ya John and Shana

  5. alisekelley says:

    You sound like Austin when it comes to Emo’s. He says comments loudly enough for them to hear. He is horrible!

  6. Caged Wisdom says:

    University Parking. If there is anyone that I want to destroy it is them. They will receive what’s coming to them someday.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: