The shake and bake dictionizza

Last summer, Cinder and I were Facebooking whilst I was in England and she in Colorado. We were reminiscing about some of our coined vocab that was so incredibly hilarious. I have been meaning to post this since I started blogging, but here it is, the entire (uncompleted) shake and bake dictionizza.

Bow shicka bow wow!-v. a descriptive phrase incinuating sexual innuendos, dirty dancing, and raunchy love-making.

“You’re going to get it on with Mary. Bow shicka bow wow!”

Janky-Bunk- n. an unsuccessful phrase, idea, or event, usually intended as a strong description of its crappiness.

“Losing your car was janky bunk.”

Pulled a cone-v. Any self-absorbed verbal whining that deals with personal and emotional problems to your friends.

“Dude, quit pulling a cone and pull yourself together for hell’s sake.”

You Bastahd-n. A deragotory yet funny insult, usually quoting Sean Connery from Hunt for the Red October.

“You Bastahd.”

wickawicka adj. A type of sound imitation of disc jockeys when they spin records.

“erea erea” “wicka wicka”

Oh Snap adj. A very important descriptive phrase intended to heighten the punch line of a joke or cynical remark.

“You can suck it.”
“Oh snap!”

The Black Pearl n. Captained by the charming, suave, and shrewd entrepreneur Captain Jack Pearl, the Black Pearl is a 2007 Sports model RAV4 pioneered by Toyota, rated by Consumer guide as the best small SUV on the market to date. It averages 23-28 mph, and has a moon-roof. It also plays lots of loud rap tunes.

“Dude, let’s take the black pearl to Bajio’s and get us a feast!”

Full Throttle n. One of the greatest beverages of the 21st Century, a breakthrough by the Coca-cola industry. It contains the caffeine of over three Coca-colas, and comes in three delicious flavors: original, Guava, and Blue Demon.

“I am going to be studying all f-ing night. I think I need a full throttle.”

Delicious Rootbeer n. A seemingly perfect mixture of the root of beer, sugar, and nutmeg, housed in a delightful carbonated water and delivered to Provo in the Five dollar Pizza Establishment.

“You know what I could go for right now? A delicious Rootbeer!”

Ace n. A more acceptable term at BYU for ass.

“Oh Becky, look at her ace, it is so huge”

Sex n. Unknown to Laken Stewart; getting down and dirty in the sack

“If I weren’t a member of this church, I’d be having sex all the time!”

Crack adj. Used to describe something superbly impressive; synonyms: cool, awesome

“Dude, Cambridge is crack foo!!”

Afternoon delight n. Quite simply all about daytime love making, the naughty type; sex (see above) in the afternoon; featured and made more popular in the film Anchorman, starring Will Ferrell

To your boss, “Man, I’m going to go home for lunch to get me some Afternoon delight!”

Shake and Bake v. A greeting involved between two people that share a close association, requiring a single fist to be formed by each party until both fists have touched knuckles to knuckles. It symbolizes the success shared by the two individuals. The phrase is to be declared upon impact of fists.

Person #1: “Dude! The Souvlaki Shop is banging!”
Both together: “Shake and Bake!!” (fists meet here)

Oh snap. That was hella crack.

hella adj. A word used to enhance the preceding word.

“This movie is hella good. I love that Will Ferrell.”

shat. n. A clustering of generic brand coco puffs that looks like real crap.

“I think it looks like someone shat in front of our apartment.”

illusion n. Any one of several amazing magical performances by the great Benjamin Blaine, or Gob Bluth.

“Dude, Ben, your illusions are hella sweet.”

Tap that v. A phrase often used by Cindy Ford to insuate her desire to have sexual relations.

“That Andrew Brandt. I’d tap that.”

Jacked v. a word that means screwed, wasted, hammered, or stoned.

“I’m jacked up on Mountain Dew!”

Well played madame, well played v. A phrase popularized by Ben Jones himself only stated when something is done/said that is really impressive or while stating a prediction of the future

“Hey Ben, remember how you’re going back to BYU this fall?”
“Well played madame, well played”

Taco Bell n. One of the greatest gifts Baby Jesus has given to mankind and always delicious; includes the famous ‘Chalupas’ and ‘Gordita’s’, among a plethora of other tasty treats

“Its 11:57 pm in Provo…Taco Bell or Wendy’s-and make it fast!”

Merde n. French for ‘shit’. (Pardon my french). Will be said whilst strolling under the Eiffel Tower holding hands and pointing towards the excrements of a group of pigeons attacking American tourists (we will not be tourists, but experienced travelers)

“Cindy, we’re at the Eiffel Tower!”
“Holy Merde!”

Thats all for me.

We are f-ing hilarious!

F-ing; short for fuc*ing. (this is where i draw the line). Used to create a more dramatic effect in conversation, without crossing the line. Frequently used by young Mormon individuals to give them a sense of rebellion without actually rebelling.

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One thought on “The shake and bake dictionizza

  1. Cindroid says:

    hahahahaha!best.blog.ever.its hella crunk!!

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